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My life in bullet points!! - fading nebulous [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ website | BITCHES!! ]
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My life in bullet points!! [Apr. 22nd, 2009|11:23 pm]
[Current Location |my bedroom where the chaos starts]
[music |"If U Seek Amy" by Britney Spears]

I am so tired lately, not with school and not with writing. With people: People who call me their friends and try to bring me down, people who were old flames that just burned out, people who are parents and mentors but doesn’t teach me… A lot has happened in the last month. I apologize for not updating and its not my intention to bore you with long updates.
Jordan lost my cellular phone the night of the Britney Spears concert after I told him to wear his jacket, which he refused to wear, and when the sun came down, he was freezing and had my phone in his hands. More so interested in his pseudo-hypothermia, he lost my phone, which he had in his hand at the time, in a NYC cabbie. I told him off in the hotel and called him dense. Spoke to Tee, and he tried to blame me. I look on facebook, and it’s like they have an internet relationship that Jordan has placed on his page… thank God our relationship is over and that that plane crashed and burned. He put this nasty little thing on MySpace about me in retaliation; may be because it was the truth. “Some UGLY PRICK Told Me I Have No Friends, No Social Life, and All I Do Is Work...And I 100% HATE You For Saying That. I Really Do Hate You, Dont Call Me, Dnt Email Me, DONT CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN! And I MEAN IT! :)”
Patty also contacted me on Facebook, and asked: “were we ever officially bf/gf? my bf found a text in my old phone that i sent to you, and he had a question about it. i know we were close, but i don't remember ever being officially yours (catch the tear). let me know.” We were together for a year and a half. I told her: “Just accept that we are friends now and that we moved on from whatever we were.” It was half-assed, but I don’t want anymore drama in my life as far as those two go. I’m just seriously done with waiting for the right one. I’m going to be a virgin forever and I feel that I should lower my expectations, because no one I’ve dated believes in genuine love and no one I’ve dated wants companionship and to share themselves with me. Its just a game to them.
My life other than that is okay. I’m stressed as shit with people at school and friends.
I tried pot recently, not a fan. It’s been a week and honestly, I keep feeling like I need to cough. Plus, being high is über lame. No more for me. I am also going to lessen the alcohol I drink. Maybe on occasion, like I do now, but not as frequently as I have these last 3 months.
I rock out with a rock band on weekends now, even though time to time there are personality clashes between Vanessa, Kisha, Alicia and I. I front the band and write lyrics. I’m more punk-rock/funk and the band is more chill than I’d like, but we’ve made some cool tunes so far. But I feel like I’m handicapping our potential of great songwriting, because the girls are kind of prudish and I’d hate to write songs about female genital mutilation, gang rape or burning brides if they’d get turned down. Nonetheless, we have such and interesting dynamic: 3 girls and a boy. Sounds like trouble.
In a month I am moving to NYC for the summer, as Essence’s new intern. I’m ecstatic! I am also interviewing a bunch of celebs for Bleu’s spring issue, and I’m also doing cover stories for Obvious and Krave. Huewayne and I are still writing for Buffalo Rising, too…
I have so much to write about!! But, as I promised, this was supposed to be short, and I'm writing my thesis!
Question of the day: “I’m looking for a companion, but I’m in college. Should I fool around while I’m young? I’m not lonely or thinking with my hormones, but I’m tired of people acting like pussies!”