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Guts and Glory - fading nebulous [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Guts and Glory [Jan. 15th, 2010|01:01 am]
[Current Location |My Bedroom, where the choas starts]
[music |"Don't Give Up" by The Noisettes]

Shipwrecked/Cold Sweat...

Whoa! It’s been a while. It’s Winter break… so here I am again! Updates: I had an amazing internship last summer at Essence as a Summer Temp for Time, Inc. It was explosive. Got to see The Noisettes in concert in SoHo with some of the Essence interns, put on a great presentation for the staff and really got to know NYC as I lived in a Columbia University dorm with five other women. Drama much?

I also starred in Anything Goes as Fred The Bartender and as a commanding officer/sailor. It was fun and I loved the process of working with an ensemble musical theatre production, but I’m kind of glad it’s over. It wasn’t really fun behind the scenes and the only time I did have fun was on stage… which, technically is not the way things are supposed to be. It’s supposed to be fun all the time. Yes, it’s supposed to be serious, but not terrible and tiresome. I did stand-up too and was called one of the funniest comedians! Some came up to me after and told me I should not only continue, but that I was hilarious and the best. I guess, that’s not too shabby for a first time experience, eh? Lastly, as in terms of theatre goes… I got cast as a crooked CEO in Seven Keys To Baldpate!! I’m so excited. I get to be prissy, bitchy, dorky, antagonistic and funny! After I read the play, and after I get the lines down… I can’t wait!!

I recently went to a few interviews in NYC, going to BackStage the week of Christmas and to Nerve.com this past Tuesday, where I met a quasi-gay nerdy indie cool kid from 15 minutes away. Huewayne let me stay at his place in Brentwood and we just chilled. We walked in Strand Books and saw a really (and I say it) cute guy who flirted with me about the book I bought. Hue asked me about me and girls, and I told him playfully that I am always down to fuck a pretty girl, I just can’t wait straight porn: The girls look they are either faking or like they are getting raped, and neither one looks good to me. We walked through SoHo and we talked and reminiscence… Met his family. He’s one of those guys that wants to be a mystery, but puts it all out there so there are no secrets…. or so it appears, but there are layers upon layers behind those secrets, which intrigue people. He’s very honest and at times, I don’t feel I can be as honest with him and I lower my intelligence because of that. With him, I lower myself to student—I “stoop to conquer” if you will… I take every thing in, so that I can understand where he’s coming from if you will, so that I can see how much knowledge and factoids I can suck out of him so that I can not only question him, but question myself. He told me that I should drop my guard—he says it’s weird, that I am friendly and social, but I love my space, which people pick up on and because of it, gossip. It’s a trait that, because of how I distance myself, is a thing that various “true friends” find themselves having to stick up for me. This is the third time, I’ve heard this… still don’t know how much I feel about it.

Regardless, I had a good time hanging with him and knowing the intimate part of him that very few people don’t know. I need the distraction. When I am home, I feel like I’m in the way and that I out-stay my welcome when I am home. It’s annoying and I feel like my family—other than the limited finances they have—don’t like it when I ask to go in for an interview or take a trip to New York. They “barked” on me all week because it. I go back to Buffalo in a week, but I’m not ready to go, but if this keeps up, I’ll have to start wishing it was time for me to go back. I guess it doesn’t help that I’m falling to serious senioritis and an even worse pre-Quarterlife Crisis.

Thank God for Nick. He’s a sweet, delicate… okay, he’s none of those things, but he’s a great guy, and I’m kidding about the sweet and delicate thing. Always considerate, always honest, always ready for an adventure, always attentive and I wonder why he’s single… I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing that he’s single, but I see so many people who are shitty internally and they aren’t half as great as he is. He got me tea for Christmas, I felt so shitty because I didn’t have anything for him. I’m thinking, no, more like planning him a trip to come on up to Buffalo for a weekend and just parading the streets drunk, or something. He needs it and I can’t help it, I have loads of fun with him. He dragged me to a company party last weekend before the Nerve.com interview and we partied all night. Before that it was an Avatar 3D movie night, a New Years’ Hotel Party Night, and slow drives through night time Albany… just ‘cause. Yeah, I’m dragging his ass to Buffalo and we’re going to party like its Kwanzaa… wait, no… like it’s Halloween! Okay… no, but we’re going to have fun. He deserves it and I deserve it. Maybe I’ll tap my girls Fannie and Vanessa… right now, I’m hopeful, but I just feel like the climate of all of our situations are changing, you know? Like we’re all growing up. Scary, huh!

I’m going to New Jersey to surprise an aunt in the morning! Ciao.

Question of the day: What is bisexuality… what is sexuality, period?

[User Picture]From: jayyy
2010-01-15 07:15 am (UTC)

Sexuality is fun stuff!

Welcome back buddy!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: fadingnebulous
2010-01-16 05:00 am (UTC)

Re: Sexuality is fun stuff!

Thanks! I know it's been a while... but I promise to post more...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)